


We Pray For Our Sorrows To End

by MyDearlyBeloved



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Could Be Canon, Effects of War, Family, Fluff, adopted family, everyone fighting their own problems, post kh3, until kh3 comes round and says otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyDearlyBeloved/pseuds/MyDearlyBeloved
Summary: When Sora is finally able to give Ventus his heart back, things don’t go quite as planned. Everyone is fighting their own demons after the big war, and this is just another scar to add to the mix, but sometimes you have to loose to know what you’ve gained.





	1. Long Nights

He was a child. Well to be fair, he had always been a child to them. Not only that, he had been their child, and now even after all the years that had passed, he was still only a child. And like all children, he cried.

That’s where Terra found himself now, cradling an inconsolable Ventus, humming soft tunes in hopes that this would lull him back to sleep. The rocking chair had been Aqua’s idea. At first Terra had thought it was a weird idea, after all, Ventus wasn’t a baby, he was sixteen , a teenager. It soon became their saving grace. It became apparent early on that the only way to get Ventus to sleep was by rocking him. This then became part of their nightly routine. First, Aqua would get him all cleaned up and ready for bed, then Terra would rock him in the chair until he fell asleep. The chair itself wasn’t too big and Ven’s legs always dangled from the side, but they made it work. 

Some nights were easier than others and Terra found himself praying more and more for the easier ones. Tonight was not one of those. After initially having put Ventus to sleep an hour ago, Terra had then decided to shower before calling it a night. Thirty minutes later he walked out of the steamy bathroom and was greeted by the sight of Ventus on the rocking chair with his arms wrapped around his knees, tears silently streaming down his cheeks, slightly swaying back and forth. A desperate attempt at trying to rock himself. Terra wished so badly that this was the fist time he had seen a scene like this, but it wasn’t.

An hour latter and he still hadn’t succeeded in getting Ven to sleep. By this point he usually would have handed him over to Aqua who would have tried singing him to sleep. In the rare cases that this didn’t work, they would eventually end up spending the whole night awake with him and by morning they would all look like zombies, Ven more so than usual.

Tonight Aqua wasn’t there. She had gone off on a mission with Riku and Lea to Castle of Dreams after Mickey had informed them of a swarm of heartless that had been wrecking havoc there. This wasn’t an unusual mission to have. Even after the war had ended, and Xehanort had been killed, there was still darkness everywhere. Just a reminder of all the work they still had to do, but tonight Terra was gonna concentrate on a problem much closer to home.

“Shhh... hey, your okay. I know I’m probably not the one you wanted to be left with, but she’ll be back soon. Two days max is what she said,” Terra quietly said as he looked down at the boy he was holding. All he could see were blond spikes as the angelic face, untouched by time, was pressed to his tank top . He was beginning to feel the wetness of the boys tears starting to soak through.

“Come on, how bout we get into bed? I think that’ll be more comfortable,” he tries again, just hoping for a reaction. All he gets are small hands tightening their grip on his tank top. He slowly stands up, bringing the boy up with him. He carries him to their bed and carefully lay him in the middle of it, right where he usually goes.

The tall brunette then proceeds to turn of all the lights in the room, making sure to turn on the small star-shaped nightlight on the wall. This is more for Aqua and Ven, at least that’s what he tells anyone who ventures into their room and asks. He then walks back over to the bed and lays down with a satisfied sigh. He turns his body over to the left and bring the small blond next to him to his chest. He places his chin atop soft spikes and starts rubbing circle on the child’s back. Small arms begin to slowly wrap around his torso and he begins to hear quiet hiccups and sniffles coming from the blond. This is going to be a long night.

They hadn’t always shared a room. After the war, and after moving out of Yen Sid’s tower and into Ansem the Wise’s castle, they had first had their own separate rooms on the residential wing of the castle. This quickly changes after one too many nights of Ventus’ screaming waking up the whole castle, and Aqua and Terra’s insomnia getting out of hand. Luckily they had found a partial remedy to all this by sleeping in the same room and sharing the same bed. Ansem was even kind enough to upgrade them to a bigger room where all three of them could reside in comfortably. 

The room was large and was more of a suite style than anything. It had its own bathroom with a bathtub and shower. Large windows lined the north side of the room and there was even a big balcony that looked out into the castle’s gardens. The best part, in Terra’s opinion, was the king sized bed that allowed all three of them to lay on it comfortably. 

The older male continued to rub circles on the blonde’s back. Murmuring soft nothings to his ear and pressing his face on blond spikes, inhaling the sweet scent of the vanilla scented shampoo that Aqua had picked out for the child.

“Just go to sleep baby boy. I got you,” Terra absently says as his mind begins to wonder about how Aqua is doing. 

 

* * *


	2. Tough Days

Like the nights, some days were easier than others, and Terra wondered if today would be one of the easy ones. Slowly, he pried his eyes open. His eyelids felt heavy, a reminder of how little sleep he had gotten last night. He could feel a light pressure in his shoulder and gentle, steady breathing by his neck. He looked down and was greeted by bright, golden locks and Ventus’ sleeping face. The boy looked peaceful and completely at ease. It was in moments like these, when Ventus managed to fall into a peaceful sleep, undisturbed by nightmares, that Terra found himself remembering that even after all the pain that had been inflicted on the boy, he could still manage too look like an ordinary kid. It was in moments like these, when the whole castle was still sound asleep or silently getting ready for the day, when he was tucked in warmly beneath the blankets, the small rays of sunlight barely starting to make their way into the room, that Terra allowed himself to childishly pretend that they were living a normal life with no worlds needing to be saved, no heartless needing to be destroyed, that the Keyblade hadn’t chose to bare its burden on them, and that fate hadn’t dealt its ugly hand to them.

They both must have fallen asleep at some point last night. It wouldn’t have been the first time that he had lulled himself to sleep in the process of humming Ven to sleep. His left arm had gone completely numb underneath Ventus’ weight. He considered pulling it out from underneath, but one look at the blonde’s sleeping face and the thought vanished. A couple more minutes in bed wouldn’t hurt.

Eventually, some chatter could be heard coming from the hallway, and Terra decided that it was about time to part ways with the comforts of their bed. As carefully as he could, he freed his arm from under Ventus and got up. He walked towards the dresser where he kept his clothes. The weather had been pretty warm in Radiant Garden for the past week so he decided to go for a pair of brown shorts and a white T-shirt. He then grabbed a pair of boxers and proceeded to walk to the bathroom.

In the past he had always enjoyed cold showers, but now he preferred hot ones. He liked the feeling of the scalding water hitting his back, and the pressure his lungs felt trying to breath in the steamy air. These were things that grounded him and reminded him that he was here, with them, and in full control of his body. After a bit, he reluctantly turned the shower off and got out. He began dressing himself, not forgetting to moisturize or else Aqua would notice and comment. As his fingers rubbed the lotion into his abdomen, they also brushed past the multitude of scars that adorned it. Scars he had attained during the war. Scars that his younger self would have thought were cool, but he now felt ashamed to show.

He wiped some fog off of the mirror and looked at his face. He stared at the faint wrinkles that were starting to become more prominent around his eyes, at the dark bags that hung beneath them, and at his unruly mane that nearly reached his shoulder. Okay, maybe Aqua was right about him needing a haircut soon, but for now the half-up half-down, man-bun hairstyle that he had adopted would have to do. He liked that hairstyle, it reminded him of his master.

He looked back at his eyes. There was no hiding how tired they looked, the red around them gave it away. He sighed, well at least he only looked half as tired as he felt. Maybe the fact that he was still only thirty something helped with that. Unlike Ventus, time had not been as forgiving for neither him nor Aqua. When she had finally been freed from the Realm of Darkness time had caught up with her. Meanwhile, time had passed normally for Terra even though he had spent it possessed and he couldn’t even remember all of it. Shaking his head to clear his mind from his thoughts, he continued to get dressed and exited the bathroom. Once back in the bedroom, he is greeted by the sight of a perplexed looking blond sitting up in bed. His naturally occurring bed head looks even messier than usual, and he stares at him with eyes that clearly scream they are in need of more rest.

“Mornin’ sleepy head,” he greets the boy, “sorry if I woke you up with all the noise from the shower.” The boy answers with silence, as usual. “Hey, how bout we get you dressed and go downstairs to see what the others are up to. That sound good?”

_Silence_

“Today’s an off day for everyone, so they should be pretty happy about that. Though...” he pauses as he walks into the the closet to look for an outfit for Ven. When they had moved into this room he had let Aqua and Ven have the closet since they were the ones with the most clothes. Now it was split in half, one side containing all of Aqua’s things and the other side holding Ven’s. After a couple of minutes he emerged from the closet with a pair of beige colored capris, a deep green T-shirt, and Ventus’ armored boots.

“They’ll probably still want to train even on their free day,” he says finishing his previous thought. “Alright kiddo, let’s get you dressed.” He proceeds to dress Ventus. For his part, the blonde just stares blankly into space. His limbs move in whatever direction Terra moves them in, and the brunette tries to not think about how this simple process reminds him of a puppeteer maneuvering his marionette.

“Aqua gets back tonight,” he says with a smile as he begins to slide-on the boy’s boots. “I know you’ve missed her, I have too,” he continues. Once both boots are on, he looks up at the blond from his kneeling position in front of him. The boy is now looking down at him with curiosity in his eyes, and Terra counts that as a small victory. “Yeah, and I bet she missed you too. Probably has a gift for ya, you know how much she loves to spoil you.”

The older male stands up and begins to gather the pajamas that Ven had previously been dressed in. He goes into the bathroom and throws them into the hamper they use for all their dirty clothing.

“Okay, let’s go!” he says with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. After putting on his own shoes, he grabs the blonde by the arm and leads him out of the room. They proceed to make their way down into the courtyard where Terra assumes everyone is. His hand is now placed on Ventus’ back as he gently guides the boy through the maze of halls that make up the castle. As they walk, his mind begins to wonder what would happen if he were to just let go of Ven and leave him in the middle of the hallway. Would the boy be able to find his way through the castle and figure out a way back to him. No, even he had trouble finding his way sometimes. Plus, he already knew that without anybody guiding him, Ven would just stand there like a statue until somebody eventually found him and delivered him back to either him or Aqua. Suddenly, Terra catches his train of thought and derails it immediately. It just reminds him of how vulnerable the boy is now.

They eventually reach the ground floor and Terra makes sure to stop by the kitchen to make them a quick breakfast. Finally, they reach their destination, the courtyard, and sure enough his apprentices are already there and getting ready for what looks like a makeshift sparing tournament. He leads them to where Kairi and Roxas are sitting. Xion and Sora are standing in the middle of the the courtyard prepping their keyblades to spar.

“Hiya Master Terra! Hi Ven!” Sora cheerfully greets the duo as he notices them approaching.

“Sora, how many time do I have to tell you, drop the formalities. Just call me by my name,” Terra says with a cheerful smile.

“Sorry, no can do Master Terra! You worked hard to earn that tittle, so I’m gonna keep using it until I become a master myself and am no longer your apprentice,” Sora replies with his usual toothy grin.

 _Boy, he can be so stubborn_ , thought Terra.

“So Terra, care to join in on our sparring tournament?” asks Kairi with a mischievous grin. “I’m refereeing this first match, but I’d be more than happy to take you on next round. What do ya say?”

“Hey that’s not fair! I thought you and I were going next,” exclaims Roxas from where he is sitting next to her. It looked like all the apprentices present were partaking in the tournament, but Terra’s attention is diverted to the blond girl sitting on the grass not too far away.

“I was just joking dummy,” Kairi retorts.

“Is that so? Well, you seemed pretty serious to me. I mean... you said it with such confidence, I actually believed you thought you could beat me,” Terra teased.

“I take it back,” Kairi says quickly and with a bemused look on her face. “I actually think I can beat you. After all, Master Aqua has already taught me about all you weaknesses.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh for the love of ALL that is light! Can we get a move on already? Xion and I have been standing here ready to fight for way too long now!” Sora exclaims. “You two can finish your cat fight some other time.”

“You better start the fight Kairi, don’t want to keep sunshine over there waiting any longer,” Terra says as he begins walking away while listening to Sora grumble. He leads himself and Ven towards where the blond girl is sitting, doodling away.

He had grown attached to Namine. Terra wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she had helped him recovered the memories he had lost from being possessed, or that she seemed to be the only person, other than Sora, Aqua, and himself, that actually made an effort to interact with Ventus and didn’t act as if he would break just by looking at him. Whatever the case, Terra found himself drawn to Naminé. He liked her soft and quiet nature. She was sweet and gentle with everyone she interacted with. She almost reminded him of a young version of Aqua, back before the Realm of Darkness had sharpened her soft edges and taken her naive optimism away. But more than anything, he admired Naminé’s dedication to her craft. Unlike the rest of the teenagers that Terra and Aqua had taken under their wing, Naminé had decided that she would not follow a keyblade wielder’s path. Something Terra had secretly been relieved to hear. Instead, she opted to study under Aerith in order to become a mage. Her reasoning being that she wanted to learn everything there was to learn about healing magic so that one day she would be able to help many people. A humble and honorable dream in Terra’s opinion. When she wasn’t practicing her magic with Aerith, and sometimes Aqua or Merlin, she could usually be found drawing away in her sketchbook, just like right now.

“Good morning Naminé,” Terra greeted the blond who was so concentrated on her work that she jumped a little at the sound of the male’s voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“Oh, no worries Terra. I just got a little carried away and didn’t see you coming,” said Naminé sheepishly. “Good morning though! Hi Ven, nice to see you,” she offered the other blond a cheerful smile which made Terra laugh a little.

“Well he may not say it, but I’m sure Venhere is happy to see you too,” Terra says half jokingly. “Sooooo... I have a HUGE favor to ask you.”

“Oh sure, what is it?”

“So I have to go run some errands in town before Aqua gets back tonight, otherwise she’ll have my head cut off if she finds out I’d didn’t do them. Sooo, I was wondering if I could leave Ven with you,” Terra finishes by giving Naminé the best puppy dog eyes he could conjure. Ven would have probably laughed at how lame they looked compared to the ones he used to alway do.

“Of course! I wouldn’t mind at all,” Naminé said. “In fact, I actually brought my whole pencil case and extra paper with me, so maybe I can teach Ven how to draw some stuff while you’re gone!”

“Sounds like an awesome plan to me. I owe you big time. Thanks Naminé,” says Terra. “So how bout it Ven? Ready for an art lesson?” Terra asks the boy next to him. Ven just keeps staring at the grass he is standing on like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Terra says as he gently pushes the boy into a sitting position next to Naminé. “Now, I won’t be long ok? So just be good for Naminé for me,” Terra tells Ven as he ruffles his hair and stands up from the kneeling position he was in.

“Bye Terra, see you soon. Oh, and good luck with those errands,” Naminé says as she waves goodbye to the brunette. 

“Thanks, I’ll be back soon,” he says as he walks away from the duo. As he gets further and further away from the castle’s courtyard, he starts to feel weird knots forming in his stomach. He’s nervous. This is the first time, since the war, that he’s left Ventus alone with someone other than Aqua. Even though he knows the boy will be safe and that there’s no danger within the castle’s walls, he can’t help but worry. He’s Ventus’ guardian after all. The boy is his charge, and even though he trusts Naminé to look after him, he still feels like he committed a mistake.

Ever since Sora had returned Ven’s heart, the blonde boy had not been the same. No one knew exactly what had gone wrong, but it was like something had sucked the light and soul out of their once cheerful and precious boy. Now in his place they were left with a robot who needed everything to be done for him, and who was prone to random meltdowns and outbursts of tears. Ven now required special attention and care, and Terra and Aqua took it upon themselves to provide it. It’s not like they were alone in this, all of their friends, old and new, constantly reminded them that help was there, they just had to say the word. And it wasn’t like Terra and Aqua considered it a burden. Besides each other, Ventus was the most important person in their lives and they would do anything in their power to make sure he lived a happy life. But that was the thing, in the past Ventus had lived, now, he just merely existed.

The reason why he had chosen Naminé was because of her patience and her attention to detail. He knew that she would be able to pick up on any signs that might signal that Ventus needed something or that he was in distress. Plus, the only other person besides her that would have been completely comfortable hanging around Ven would have been Sora, but Terra wasn’t sure if the boy was ready for a responsibility like this. It’s not that he didn’t trust Sora, but the boy could be a little spacey at times and tended to get sidetracked easily. And it wasn’t as if Terra couldn’t have just dragged Ventus along with him, he had done so on numerous occasions. However, Terra needed space, and as much as it pained him to admit it, he needed space from Ventus. He new Aqua needed it too. That’s why she had eagerly taken that mission even though Riku and Lea could have easily handled it. The mission certainly didn’t require two full fledged keyblade masters. He didn’t blame her though, he would have jumped at the opportunity as well.

As Terra kept walking to the center of Radiant Garden, an overwhelming sense of guilt hit him. He felt sorry for leaving Ven and for feeling the need to take a break from him. He also felt sorry for dumping the boy on an unknowing Naminé, with only the lame excuse of having to run errands as his reason for doing so. He knew that what he had done was wrong on so many levels, but he’d done it and now all he could do was complete what he had come to town for and get back to the castle as soon as possible.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Terra to finish everything on his list. He went from store to store with ease, picking up all the items Aqua had requested. Finally, he got to the last thing on his list, this was something he had added in himself. He had been toying with the idea of getting Ventus some books so that the boy would have something to occupy himself with while him and Aqua trained the other kids. He knew that the boy wouldn’t actually be reading the books in his current condition, so he needed to make sure that he got some with lots of pictures in hopes that this would keep the boy entertained and his brain stimulated. He also hoped that he could find some that included a bit of text so that he would be able to read them to the blond right before bedtime. With this goal in mind, the brunette set off to a place where he remembered seeing a book that met these requirements.

Terra only had to knock on the wooden door once before the whimsical wizard opened it.

“Hello my boy! I wasn’t expecting a visit from you today,” greeted Merlin.

“Hi Merlin, sorry to drop in unannounced like this. I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to ask you something. You got a minute?” Terra asks.

“Well of course! Come in my boy, come in,” the wizard said as he ushered the brunette in. The house was just as messy as always. There were stacks of books all over the place and random items scattered all around. Empty potion and elixir bottles littered the floor and shelves. Despite the disarray, Terra still thought that the place felt quite homey. It had its own unique charm.

“So what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you by any chance remember a book that I found and left with you a long time ago? I believe you once told me that it was a really special book,” Terra explained.

“Hmm... that does sound a wee bit familiar. Let me think,” Merlin said as he rubbed his beard. “Ah yes! I do believe I know what book you are talking about. Let me see here...”

The wizard proceeded to look through a stack of books that were near his desk. He rummaged through the stack for a while until he moved to another stack near the bed.

“Now where did I put that book?” wondered Merlin. After a while, the old wizard finally pulled out a book from the pile he had been working through and held it up triumphantly. “Haha! Here it is! And I do believe this is a favorite of Sora’s.”

“Really?” Terra asked as he took the book when Merlin handed it to him. It was a thick and heavy book with a leather binding and colorful cover. It even had a little lock as a decoration at the front.

“Yes, yes. That boy has spent countless hours immersed inside that book,” affirmed Merlin.

 _That’s weird. I never pictured Sora as much of a reader. He certainly doesn’t immerse himself in any of the readings Aqua and I give him_ , thought Terra.

“Well, feel free to keep that book for as long as you’d like. I don’t think I’ll be needing it anytime soon,” Merlin said.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it, Merlin.”

After saying goodbye to the Wizard, Terra began his journey back to the castle. It didn’t take him long to reach it, and he quickly made his way over to the courtyard. As he approached it, he could see that there was some sort of commotion happening between the students, but he was still too far away to make out what was happening. Once he was close enough he could clearly see what was wrong, and it took all the self control he had to prevent him from summoning his Keyblade and charging in.

In the middle of the courtyard was Roxas holding a terrified looking Ventus by the collar with both hands. He looked furious and was yelling straight at the other blond’s face.

“Why don’t you say anything! Apologize to her! NOW!”

“C’mon Roxas, this isn’t fair. It was an accident. Ven didn’t mean to do it,” said a panicked looking Sora. He was trying to get in the middle of the two blondes and trying to pry Roxas’ hands from Ven’s shirt. Nearby, the girls were huddled together watching the whole ordeal unfold. Kairi had both of Xion’s hand in hers, while Naminé looked about ready to jump in and attempt to break up the fight.

“He new exactly what he was doing! Stop acting like you know nothing and say something!”

“Roxas. Leave him alone,” Terra said when he finally got close enough. He had to use all his will power to keep his voice even and not let it rise. Everyone’s head snapped in his direction.

“But-“

“I said. Leave. Him. Alone.” Terra’s voice didn’t sound angry, but it wasn’t reassuring either, and the glint in his eyes plus the flare of his nostrils made it clear to everyone that he was withholding his anger. Roxas immediately released his hold on Ventus.

“Now, Sora, tell me what happened,” Terra commanded.

"Well...,see..., we had finished our tournament and we were just kinda hanging out. Xion was playfully swinging her keyblade around and I think she got a little too close to Ven because he got scared and accidentally casted Firaga at her. She was quick to block it but not before it burned her hands. Kairi quickly healed her though," Sora explained.

 _So Ven's magic still works?_ wondered Terra. He looked over at the girls who were all nodding their heads at Sora's explanation. 

"So, it was just an accident and everyone is fine now," Terra declared.

"He still hurt her!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Yes, and she's fine now, and I bet Ven feels really sorry for all of this. Right?" Terra turns towards the other blond who is looking at the ground, tears silently streaming down his face. 

"So you're not gonna punish hi-" Roxas wasn't even able to finish his sentence before Earthshaker was in his face. Terra's patience was gone. Everyone around them visibly took a step back.

"As your master, I will do as I see fit to make sure something like this doesn't happen again," Terra says firmly. "But let me just warn you, and I'm only gonna say this one time. You make a move on him again, and you will regret it for the rest of your life. You understand?"

"Yes," Roxas says taking a step back from Earthshaker. Terra dismisses his keyblade and walks over to the crying blond. He begins to lead him back into the castle. He can hear quiet whispers behind him.

"Everyone is to go to their rooms and stay there. No one is allowed to come out until dinner time. If I were you I would get a head start in the readings for tomorrow's lecture," the brunet says in a firm tone, not even bothering to look back at his students.

Once inside their room he turns to look at the boy. He is standing in the middle, eyes red, irritated from all the crying.

"Why can't I leave you alone for one minute without you causing a mess?" Terra asks. His voice is rising dangerously and he can feel the darkness in his heart starting to creep out. He takes a deep breath in an attempt to control himself. 

"Ventus..." that's all he can get out before he lunges himself at the blond. He is on his knees, arms wrapped around the boy's waist, and face buried in the boy's shirt. His shoulders shake as he lets out all the anguish and sorrow that he'd been feeling for so long. "I just want you back. I want my Ventus back," he chokes out, and to his surprise he feels a small hand place itself on his head.    

 


End file.
